Zyra TV //// Zyra UK //// Science //// Kitchen //// Site Index

an Opportunity for making a Great Discovery in Biology

There is a possibility that we may have found an opportunity for a great discovery in biology. Opportunities such as this do not appear very often, so it may be worth considering that keen biologists looking to make a great discovery could look into this. Of course there is no certainty, and it would be foolish to suggest there is, until after the fact, when it becomes a different matter! The thing is, great discoveries in biology are made using a combination of scientific skill, luck, and opportunity.

A while ago, Sir Alexander Fleming discovered Penicillin. The story goes that there were some unwashed petri dishes about, and he noticed that some of them had grown mold on them, but in the regions around the mold where no bacteria grew. On the plates, colonies of bacteria had holes in them near the mold.

Some people would have washed the plates, but Sir Alexander Fleming considered it an interesting opportunity to do some research and he looked into what has happening, and discovered Penicillin. A great discovery in biology.

How many other things are out there, waiting to be discovered? Many, obviously. It's a matter of finding them and having the opportunity, noticing things that are unusual, and having the skill to do the research.

So now moving on to Zyra's kitchen, which is a bit unusual. It has not been cleaned for over twelve years, and some rather odd things have happened. It would not be beyond reasonable guesswork to say that it is likely there are undiscovered interesting and unusual life-forms living in that kitchen. There is mold growing inside the microwave ovens, which is interesting in itself, as life-forms that can stand microwave radiation are probably extremophiles. It has also been noticed by guests that if food is prepared and left in the kitchen, then after a surprisingly short time, it suddenly grows fur on it. Food does not keep well, even in the fridge. The variety of different environments in the kitchen have each their own characteristics. Evolution of life-forms has gone unchecked for years and there are interesting spindly spiders preying upon bugglies which are prevalent.

Of course spiders are a good thing to have in the house, as they help to keep down the populations of various species of pests. Were it not for the spiders, the pests which have attacked some of the antique food in the cupboards would have made much more of a mess.

A while ago a rat died (rats are not allowed in the house), and it was hung up in the kitchen to dry out in the hopes of some experimental taxidermy. Unfortunately the humidity in the kitchen was too high to desiccate properly a 350 gramme dead rat, and after a few weeks, guests politely pointed out that it was starting to smell quite bad, so unfortunately it had to be removed.

To say Zyra is a bit eccentric would be an understatement.

Many years ago a can of pilchards was found, but it had started to bulge, as the contents had begun to ferment. Eating bad fish is not a good idea, but then again, it would be such a shame to waste it. So, the can of pilchards was put on the gas. (Please don't try this at home. It makes a mess and the explosion can cause injury). When the can of pilchards exploded on the gas cooker, it was a violent explosion and pieces of metal and the remains of the pilchards were spread all over the walls and windows and all inside the fancywork of the gas cooker, and on the ceiling, etc. It smelt delicious! ... for the first few hours. After a few days it didn't smell so good. The fact is though, that there are still pieces of pilchard stuck to some of the walls, and that was from years ago.

The pilchards detonation was one of many extreme out-of-date food explosions, the evidence of which has been captured as digital movie clips, as well as preserved in the generally accreting remains on the walls.

Now surely in all this there must be some biological discoveries to be made. This is a rare environment for sure, like the craters of extinct volcanoes in remote Guinea. Undiscovered species and life-forms? Even the possibility must surely tempt the boldest adventure biologists to investigate and to discover things which no-one had thought possible?! Shucks! It's starting to sound a bit like Star Trek!

Now is the time to grab this opportunity while you can, as I am emigrating for tax purposes, and after I've left the UK, the old kitchen will not remain the same. Plans may already be in place to treat it to the actions of a steam-cleaner and then complete coverage in the Magnolia and White! This may be nice for potential house-buyers, but it would be the eradication of an ecosystem. Well, now's your chance to get in there like the emergency archaeologists and save the irreplaceable life-forms from extinction. I am open to offers, and what I suggest is that someone view what's on offer and then buy all the muck. There are some choice electrical appliances which might be included also.

There is no guarantee you'll make a great discovery in biology by this, but it is such an unusual environment that it seems likely there may be undiscovered life-forms there to be found, and, some of them could be useful to the future of pharmacology as well as the understanding of the flora and fauna of niche environments. So, venture this way if you dare be so bold: e-mail

Update: Sorry folks, but as of 2012/01/22 this opportunity has expired. I have emigrated for tax purposes. See Tax Havens

If you're looking for new kitchen equipment there's a page about that as well.